About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
