So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
