that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
