I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I feel like death gave me a hand job
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
