But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
