I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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