No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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