Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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