I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
