Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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