hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
