I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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