my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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