dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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