all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
