He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
