Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
