shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
