then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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