She is in my trunk
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
