when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
