i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
