I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
