The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
