I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
