Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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