I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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