You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
