if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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