Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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