You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
