I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
