did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
