i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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