Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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