Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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