how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
