I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
