THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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