Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
