How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
