You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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