i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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