You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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