Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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