just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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