She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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