Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
