1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
