Where is the hickey?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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