Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You can't motorboat a personality
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
