I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
40s are totally the cure
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
