I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
