Fuck appropriateness.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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