I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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