sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That's how pantless uber rides happen
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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