mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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