I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
