do herpes really smell.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
