So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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