I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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