i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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