Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize