Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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