so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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