now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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