This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
